Kirby's Rampage
by r0b0t1
Summary: This is a short, one chapter story about how evil Kirby is. Enjoy. :


Disclaimer: I don't own the Super Smash Bros. characters.

It was just another normal day in Smash Mansion. Princess Peach had invited her friend Daisy over for another game of "Go Fish." Luigi was out crushing Goombas just to cause them misery. Link was trying to figure out how to work the microwave and Captain Falcon was just sitting on the couch in the living room snacking on his munchies. After a few minutes of setting fire to the microwave, Link glanced over at the kitchen's calender. He looked at it for a minute and then noticed something.

"Oh no." he said. "Oh no. I have to warn everyone!"

He ran to the other room, where Captain Falcon was on the couch and Peach was still playing cards, and said, "We have to get out! Warn as many people as you can and tell them to evacuate the building!" They looked at him with confused looks on their faces. And finally Peach said, "Why?"

"It's the 25th!" Link yelled "Don't you all remember what happens on the 25th of every month of every year?"

"Er..No." Captain Falcon muttered.

"Kirby's Rampage" Link said.

"Oh no. Not that again!" Peach cried. "We have to get out!"

Peach ran out of the room and headed towards the front door. Captain Falcon simply jumped out the window.

"Damn. Looks like I have to warn everyone that Kirby's coming suck us up and spit all of us out." Link said angrily.

He ran frantically out of the room and went upstairs where he found Pikachu lying on the ground in the hallway. He was covered in saliva. Link noticed blood trickling down the side of his head.

_No wonder. He went after the smallest of us first..._ Link thought. _I have to stop that little pink ball of evil._

Link stepped over Pikachu's unconscious body and then dashed off to the nearest door he could find. He turned to door knob and opened the door. He found Zelda in her room, reading a book.

"Quick, Zelda, come with me!" he said.

"Be quiet and let me finish my page!" she yelled.

Link stood in the doorway and waited. It was 10 minutes later when she said, "Done."

"Geez. Does it usually take you that long to read a page?" Link asked.

"Nope. I read a whole chapter. You just weren't paying attention. Ha ha." she laughed.

_Damn it all to hell ... _Link thought. Link hated when people used his attention deficit disorder as a joke.

Link explained to Zelda what was going on and then quickly grabbed her hand and ran off to the next room. He tried turning the door knob, but it was locked. He grabbed his sword and cut the door in half. He saw Mario and Zero-Suit Samus on a bed kissing quite passionately. They were so focussedon their kissing that they didn't even notice Link cut down the door.

"What an odd couple." Zelda thought out loud.

Samus screamed and threw a pillow at her, then said. "What do you think you're doing? And what did you do to my door?"

"Err...Um.." Link muttered.

"Answer me!"

"Well, what is it that you two are doing and why are you doing it?" Zelda asked.

"What does it look like we're doing?" she answered. "And I'm doing it because Mario here is my little Snookums. And plus, his moustache tickles me when I kiss him."

Mario quickly stood up, stuck up his thumb and said, "Ah ha!" He said it very happily.

"Okay. Okay. Whatever." Link said. "We came to warn you about the bad news."

"What bad news?" Samus asked.

"Am I the only one that remembered?" Link said. "Today is the day of the month that Kirby goes around on his rampage! So, we have to get out. And we have to do it quickly, because Kirby's very fast at rampaging."

"Okay." Samus said. "Wait. Where's Mario?"

Link looked around. He didn't see him. Then, he finally opened the closet door and found Mario on the ground covered in saliva just like Paycheck was.

"I told you he was fast." Link said.

"What's up, fags?" a voice from behind them said.

They turned around and saw that stupid, little pink ball of doom. Oh. If you thought I was talking about Kirby, you were wrong.It was Jigglypuff.

"Shut up, Jigglypuff." Link said. "We're all in danger. It's Kirby's Rampage today and we have to get out!"

"I know what it is today." Jigglypuff said. "And this time, I'm Kirby's partner in evil!"

"Well, today, I'm his partner in evil. But tomorrow, you can all go back to living your normal lives." Jigglypuff explained.

"So, we just have to hide from you guys until midnight?" Link asked. "Well, we better go tell everyone."

"No need. I already did that." Jigglypuff said.

"Why would you do that?" Link asked. They were all very confused.

"Don't know. I was bored I guess."

"Okay ... Quick! Out the window!" Link said as he jumped out the window. The others followed.

Luckily, they all landed in a pool of water.

"Now where did that Kirby run off to?" Link said to himself. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Bowser was trying to practice his ballet for his dance recital and Nes was throwing rocks at him. But then Link saw something odd. There was a massive pile of rocks right next to the pool they landed it. They were all the normal colour for a rock, except one. It was a pink rock with a face. "I found him!"

"Everyone! Run!" Link said. "Let's find a safe place to hide!"

They ran until they found a hollow tree with a hole the size of a door. They walked inside and sat down on the ground. They could barely see, because it was so dark in the true. Link took out his lantern and lit it. They sat in the tree talking for a few minutes. Zelda thought it would be good if she went out to get some food, but Link told her it would be too dangerous. A couple minutes later they heard a noise. Well, it was actually a song. Samus took out her cell phone and answered it.

"Hello?" she said.

"_I know where you are ..." _The voice on the other end said.

"Who is this?"

"_I'm not going to tell you. But what I am going to tell you is that this is NOT Kirby."_

"Oh. Well, that's good. I was starting to worry for a minute."

"_Are you stupid?"_

"Um ... I don't think so ..."

"_Of course this is Kirby!"_

"Oh. That's not good." Samus looked around to see that her friends were all watching her closely. She hung up her phone and then said, "I think it's time we left." They just kept staring at her. "NOW!" she yelled. They all got up and ran out of the hollow tree. They stopped running to take a break.

"It's ...no ...use ..." Link said; panting. "I'm going to fight Kirby!"

"We're coming too!" Zelda said.

"No! You have to stay here and find another place to hide." Link told her. "I'm going to do this on my own."

"Oh, you're just acting tough. We're helping." Zelda said as she turned into Sheik. "I'm coming, no matter what you say."

"We're coming too!" Samus said while Mario simply stuck his thumb up.

"Fine. But you guys better be careful. And follow my lead." Link ordered. "Come on!"

They first ran back to the pool where Link saw the odd pink rock with the other ones. The pink rock wasn't there anymore. Then, they ran to the other side of the mansion. Link heard a noise coming from the top of the building. He looked up and saw a ball with spikes on it falling from the sky. He quickly moved out of the way and pulled the others out of the way with him. The spike ball turned into Kirby.

"I've already gotten the other Smashers. You four are the last ones." Kirby said. "Oh, and I only managed to actually murder 4 of the ones I attacked."

"Who? WHO DID YOU KILL?!" Link screamed.

"It won't matter. You'll be dead before you find out!" Kirby said as he jumped at Link with his hammer.

Link moved out of the way just in time. Samus ran at Kirby with her gun pointing at him, but Kirby opened his mouth, sucked her in and spat her out. She didn't die, but she was unconscious. Obviously, Kirby had a Samus helmet on now and a gun too. Mario was angry at this point. He shot a fireball out of his hand, but Kirby dodged it. Kirby was charging up his gun now, so it was the perfect opportunity to hit him with an attack. Mario shot another fire ball at him and Kirby went flying.

"Nice, Mario!" Sheik said as she gave him a high five.

"Don't celebrate just yet." Link was pointing at Kirby, who was getting off the ground. He didn't have the helmet anymore because of Mario's fireball. He quickly sucked up Mario and spat him out. Mario was unconscious now too.

"Sheik! Go! It isn't safe anymore!" Link told her. "Leave!"

"No way." she said. "I'm not leaving now."

"Fine. Just don't get in my way!" Link ran at Kirby with his sword at the ready. He tried slashing Kirby with it, but he just jumped into the air. While Kirby was in the air he turned into a block and tried crushing Link. Link quickly rolled out of the way. Link ran at Kirby again. This time he tried punching him with his fists. He hit him! He started punching his face in repeatedly. When he was done there was blood leaking out of Kirby's mouth. He didn't look too good. It was the perfect time. Link grabbed Kirby and threw him up in the air. He took out his sword and pointed it at him. Kirby landed right onto the sword and went right through it.

He was dead.

Link slid Kirby off his sword and placed him on the ground. Sheik turned back into Zelda. And then Princess Peach came running up to them. She looked upset. She started screaming, "Luigi! Luigi! He's dead!"

"What?" Link said.

"Kirby! He killed him right in front of my eyes. He would've killed me too, but I was hiding in the closet." she explained

Link and Zelda gasped.

"Who were the other three he killed?" Link asked.

"What?"

"Kirby told us that he killed four people. You told us one of them. Who were the other three?" Zelda asked.

"Oh yeah. He killed Gannondorf, Mewtwo and Bowser." she explained.

"But why would he kill those three?" Link asked.

"He said they were 'stealing all the evil'" Peach said.

"Oh."

Peach looked down at the dead Kirby and said, "But, doesn't he only do this on the 25th of every month? Couldn't we just get more prepared next time?"

"Oh yeah ..." Link said. "Dammit."

That was my short one chapter story. If you had a problem with the characters that I killed off, or me making Kirby evil, then I can't do anything about it, but it's good to know. Ha ha.


End file.
